
In any partnership or family, regardless of your ADD status, it's crucial to have systems in place for nearly everything. Chores, meals, bedtime, pet care, finances...I speak from experience when I say that family life can turn into a free-for-all if you let too many things go. I'm sure you're nodding your head in agreement. Even if you live alone, all it takes is one episode of Nanny 911 to show you how quickly things can go downhill when you give up control.
Jen and I do not have children yet, but we will within the next few years (we do have a dog that we treat like a child, though). You're wondering why all these systems are necessary for a couple with no (human) children. "They've got it easy!" you say. Well, right now we're focused on creating and fine-tuning our household systems so that by the time kids come into the picture, we'll be fully prepared.
Say we're going away for the weekend. I will print out a pre-written list of everything we need to bring, pack up our bags, and get Punky's stuff together. This eliminates the last-minute scrambling that a lot of families succumb to when going on a trip (or sometimes just leaving the house). Jen will print out the driving directions, make sure there's gas in the car, and ensure we have plenty of bottled water and coffee for the trip. I will usually put together a folder with any phone numbers, maps, brochures, reservations, and yes, sometimes even an itinerary. Jen will pick out 10-15 CDs to listen to in the car (although she always ends up playing just one, over and over and over). Without this system in place, going away for the weekend would be a nightmare of "Where did I put the directions?!" and "Did you remember to pack our toothbrushes?!" It's so much easier to know what each of our responsibilities are and stick to them.
And we don't have it easy. Jen's ADD causes her to become overwhelmed very quickly in stressful situations. If enough things go wrong, she will completely shut down and be forced to run on an empty tank for the rest of the day, which is no fun for either of us. It's up to me to hold it all together and make sure things go smoothly. That's my job at work, and that's my job at home.
How do I cope? I wait until Jen goes on a business trip, and then I make a mess of the entire house and watch TV in my pajamas, eating whipped cream from the can. By the time she gets home the place is spotless.