ADD by Proxy

So none of you commented on my last post about the new brain imaging patent. I was hoping to get a response like, "Fantastic! Now I can prove to my husband/friend/colleague that ADD is a neurological condition and not the psychobabble he thinks it is!" But alas, you don't seem to dig my posts about neuroscience. But you do seem to dig my posts about life, so today I will regale you with a tale of transmittable ADD.

Typically, one of my best qualities is that I'm calm under pressure. I don't get riled by airports, bad drivers, tax deadlines, or really much of anything. It's a good quality to have when you're the partner of someone with ADD. I'm pretty good at helping Jen stay centered and focused in stressful situations.

But I do have my moments, and lately I feel like Jen and I have switched places. She has been even keeled and I have been reactive and overwhelmed. The impetus is the young man in the photo.

Rascal is my first puppy. (I came into Punky's life when she was 3 years old.) We adopted Rascal from the North Shore Animal League last week, and although he's adorable, he's a holy terror. He bites, he steals; he generally behaves in a way that, if he were human, would land him in jail. Some of it can be chalked up to normal puppy behavior. But Jen has been through puppy-rearing before, and she has never seen anything like this.

We "Cesar" him as much as possible. We take every opportunity to establish dominance over him, and we encourage Punky to do the same. Jen and I keep saying we can't wait for someone to kick his ass. Not literally, of course, but it would be very helpful if even one of the family dogs would step up.

Jen has been handling him very well. She disciplines and redirects him with authority and calm/assertive energy. When she raises her voice, it's not because she's freaking out. I, on the other hand, have ADD by proxy.

If I see him peeing on the carpet, I scream and lunge towards him. If he bites my shirt, I yell and rip it out of his mouth. All I'm doing is rewarding bad behavior, because he's learning that he can get a rise out of me by doing certain things.

I can't keep track of his feeding and walking schedule. I can't remember when to put him in his crate. I keep misplacing his leash. I don't notice when he wanders out of the room. I forget to put my shoes away and he eats them. On the whole, I'm a day late and a dollar short.

The puppy has made me overwhelmed and disorganized. He's brought out my inner ADDer. Jen, on the other hand, is just fine.

Comments

[John M]

Erin

It seems to me that this situatuion is proving how non-ADD you actually are.

I think your biggest issue is the chaos that having a new puppy brings. Like you I deal well with pressure but I don't deal well with chaos. Most people with ADD that I know don't like pressure but are unphased by chaotic situations.

People with ADD have several advantages with dealing with a puppy:

1.Most people with ADD already deal with handling several tasks at once. Keeping track of a puppy is just one more task to deal with.

2. People with ADD are more aware of their environment. Therefore they will quickly notice when a puppy tries to make a run for it.

3. People with ADD can thrive on the stimulation of a chaotic environment. The ADD brain get sharper with chaos.

[Jen Koretsky]

This puppy has made my brain so sharp it can cut glass. ;)