So I Married an ADDer

ADD News Roundup

Happy Friday, people! Here are some of the latest hits from ADD in the news.

There's a new book on the connection between ADD and eating disorders.

And a high school football hero who almost didn't get to play because of his ADD.

Another reason to make your mother feel guilty.

And at long last, the difference between construction workers and clergy.

For those of you in the Seattle area, join us October 7-8 at the 4th Annual ADHD Conference for Adults, sponsored by Attention Deficit Disorder Resources (www.addresources.org). Jen will be presenting and I will be sitting in the back drinking coffee.

You can do it. We can help. Please buy something and leave.

When I was in college, I worked summers and holidays at a wonderful, now defunct toy store called Zany Brainy. They sold only non-gender-specific, non-violent toys and even had a summer reading club (I taught the 4-year-olds). It was probably the most fitting job I ever had. But like any retail store, we had our share of irritating customers, including the type who walk in 15 minutes before the store closes.

I have now become one of those customers, thanks to my ADD partner.

Jen and I can never seem to get to the store on time. I can't tell you how often I've had to knock on the glass, animately pointing at my watch and mouthing the words, "You're still open for ten more minutes!" Begrudginly, the security guard unlocks the door, and I bring the four or five items I'm returning to the counter (because we're always returning something). The cashier gives me a dirty look as she abandons counting out her drawer. Sometimes she needs to call a manager to unlock the register. I apologize for the hassle, and if I'm feeling friendly, I joke that I used to work in retail and always hated customers who came in at the last minute.

We dislike Wal-Mart on principle but we shop there because it's open 24 hours. And we're usually the only people in the supermarket at midnight...at least the only ones with a full cart. When we lived in the city, we had a 24 hour Home Depot, which came in handy when we'd need new window treatments at 4:00 AM. Now our Home Depot closes at 10:00 and we both feel completely violated.

It doesn't matter if we're going to the grocery store, hardware store, Petco, Macy's, you name it. We are simply incapable of getting there more than 15 minutes before they close.

Happy ADD Day!

It's National ADHD Awareness Day! I am wearing my stylish ADHD Awareness rubber bracelet (jealous?) and proudly displaying my collection of fidget toys (including my new Tangle, which I highly recommend for the fidgeter in your life).

So today I hope you take the opportunity to show your appreciation for your favorite ADDer.

Jen, I haven't had one boring day since I met you. Thank you.

ADD News Roundup

I've been suffering from severe blogger's block lately, so for now I'm just going to do a roundup of ADD in the news:

All of next week (18-24 September) is ADHD Awareness Week in Croydon, for you lot across the pond - I even wrote the date backwards for you! And for Americans - next Wednesday, September 20th is our ADHD Awareness Day. Celebrate by giving Ty Pennington a call or better still, join ADDA so you can hang out with me and Jen next spring at the conference.

School children in Australia think ADD is just like cooties. Must be the bread.

Teenagers with ADD have more car accidents. Which is strange, because all the ADDers I know are excellent drivers. Hmm.

Speaking of teenagers, here's an Olympic hopeful with ADHD and a dog that looks rather familiar. I think archery is a great activity for ADDers - talk about hyperfocus!

Lastly, a moving story about immigration rights and the steadfast mother of a little boy with ADD.

ADD B&B

Jen and I sometimes get caught up in what kinds of businesses we could open together. Our best idea to date combines three things we know inside out: The ADD Bed & Breakfast & Whale Watch. It would be a B&B exclusively for ADDers and their families - breakfast served all day, ambient music that plays 15 seconds of each song, etc. We threw in the whale watch because Jen's ADD has proven very useful in spotting whales over the years. Her heightened alertness and extra wide peripheral vision have won us some prize moments with our sea-dwelling friends. Also, because it would be an ADD establishment, we could run whale watch cruises throughout the day and night (most places cut them off at sunset). I think it's a swell idea.

"No wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise."

(Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland)

When I was a child, I had an inflatable pool toy similar to the one pictured on the left. Most people would call it a dolphin (in fact, the manufacturer calls it Dancin' Dolphin), but for whatever reason, my parents called it a porpoise. I was a melancholy child and not particularly inclined to entertain on camera, which resulted in hours of video footage of both my mother and father shouting, "Erin, get the porpoise! Get the porpoise, Erin!" as I stand there in my swimmies looking perplexed and annoyed.

Twenty-some-odd years later, I'm still not getting the porpoise.

Jen wrote a blog post the other day about how she always finds a way to get what she wants, even when it seems impossible. She doesn't hope for success; she creates it. And although I am happy to reap the benefits of her drive and determination, I sometimes feel like a deadbeat.

Don't get me wrong, I make a decent living. But I am lazy and somewhat erratic. I need very clear goals and boundaries in order to be successful. For example, my beloved iPod kicked the bucket yesterday. It can't be repaired, and I need a new one (I can only endure my naturally occurring thoughts for so long). Since we just moved into a new house, and had a wedding in the immediate family, and got a new puppy, and are about to lease a second car, our money shouldn't exactly go toward an iPod right now.

What would you do in this situation? I chose the whine-and-hope-Jen-takes-pity-on-me route. No dice. But I do get paid overtime, so I've planned out an overtime schedule for the next two weeks, and that will net enough cash for me to once again rock out to Justin Timberlake on my way to work.

There are a number of issues at play here, but the point I'm trying to make is that some people are self-motivated and others are not. Jen is extremely self-motivated. She takes pride in her work, and she sets goals for herself. If Jen was a donkey (bear with me here), she would be like, "Gee I love pulling this cart because I know I'm good at it, and it makes me happy to know that I am getting these goods to market so my owners can put food on the table!" Whereas if I were a donkey, I'd be like, "Where's my carrot, bitch?"

I'm curious to know how Jen's ADD factors into this. I've certainly met a good number of ADDers who are go-getters like Jen, but I think a lot of other ADDers have trouble self-motivating. Thoughts, anyone?