So I Married an ADDer

Excess Baggage: Part II

Jen returned home late on Friday night, suitcase intact. I started to unpack it (lest it sit there for a month) and I was surprised to see that Jen had actually used the plastic laundry bag from the hotel. She had never done that before. To me, this meant that I wouldn't have to waste water and energy washing clothes she didn't wear, on account of them being mixed in with dirty laundry. So I opened the laundry bag to discover that it was full...of toiletries. What a letdown.

The toiletry bag was also inexplicably full of toiletries, which multiplied in the 3 days she was gone. The suitcase also contained several scraps of paper and receipts, which Jen needs to save for tax purposes. I would have kept them in my wallet, or better still, a separate envelope, but what do I know.

Jen had also taken my car, and on the outside it was none the worse for wear. But when I hopped in the next day to run to the store, I noticed the steering wheel was splattered with coffee. This is why I always have all-purpose cleaner and a roll of paper towels within arm's reach.

Even though she creates a whirlwind everywhere she goes, I am still happy to have her home.

 

If you enjoyed this post, subscribe to So I Married an ADDer.

Excess Baggage

Jen is leaving for a business trip today, so last night I had to pack her suitcase. I have been solely responsible for packing our suitcases since we took our first vacation and I realized she had no idea how to pack. She had way too many clothes, toiletries floating about willy-nilly, and don't get me started on folding. So I took over.

It's very easy to pack for a trip, provided you have one simple thing - a checklist. I keep ours saved on the computer, so every time we have to pack I just print one out. Sure, mine is sorted by category and alphabetized, but that's not a requirement. Since I have the checklist, I never forget to pack anything. And if for some reason I do forget something, I hear my mother's voice saying, "You're not going to Guam. If you forget something, you can buy a new one."

I do have a system for the actual physical packing of the suitcase, but I don't need to go into it here. Suffice it to say that when Jen brings the suitcase home after her trip, it looks nothing like it did when I packed it. Laundry is mixed in with clean clothes, everything is crumpled in a ball, and invariably she's forgotten her cell phone charger in the hotel. Do you know how many cell phone chargers we have?

So tonight when she calls to tell me she made it to the hotel, I will ask her if she hung up her clothes so they don't wrinkle. And she will lie. But at least I know she has everything she needs.

 

If you enjoyed this post, subscribe to So I Married an ADDer.

It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information. ~Oscar Wilde

Today I'd like to explore technology and information overload. I am a proud infomaniac, infoholic, and infonista. I enjoy infotainment and infosnacking, and I fully support informationism and those who put it to good use. All of these words are real, by the way, and infotastic.

With so much info floating around, it's easy to overload your circuits. Some experts have suggested that our whole culture is adopting ADD-like characteristics because we're always plugged in. It reminds me of the old "Too Much TV is Bad for You!" warnings, which is funny because nowadays we use TV to get away from other media.

I can safely disconnect from technology without suffering a breakdown. Some people can't. There are even resources and treatment centers for Internet Addiction. It seems that ADDers have an especially hard time unplugging. The essential mission of every ADDer is to avoid boredom, and the computer is an excellent antidote. It's very easy to hyperfocus online, or lose track of time while messaging friends. It's also easy to get hooked on information, in the sense that reading about one thing sparks interest in another thing, and another and another. When they finally do step away from the computer, it's disorienting.

In our house, we keep a laptop with wireless internet on the living room couch. It's not enough for Jen to just watch TV - she also has to be online. If she's watching a gardening show, she needs to be within arm's reach of instructions for making a compost pile. The minute LOST is over, she has to login to the forums to see what the die hards are saying about the island's mysteries. I am always nagging her to just watch TV, but she's restless. TV is no longer enough to keep her entertained.

Jen does not have an internet addiction, but if you think your spouse or someone else in your family might, visit NetAddiction.com.They have resources for every kind of online addiction, including gaming, cybersex, porn, gambling, and compulsive surfing.

I strongly feel that everyone should unplug a few times a year for a week or two. It's amazing how much more connected you can feel when you're disconnected.

If you enjoyed this post, subscribe to So I Married an ADDer.

 

Happy Belated National Mental Health Week, Canada

I'm behind on my news, but Canada just had its annual Mental Health Week. ("We're just as stressed as Americans" asserts the Canadian Mental Health Association home page.) This year's theme was Work/Life Balance, which usually means "Go home and see your children before they forget what you look like!" but surprisingly, Canada has chosen to highlight the ways in which employers deal with mental health issues in the workplace.

Since the invention of the "sick day", people have been taking "mental health days" under the guise of "stomach flu" or "pipe burst" or "veterinary emergency." No one has ever called into the office at 8:00 in the morning and said, "Hi Boss. I won't be coming into the office today. I'm losing my mind." But we've all been there. So what's the right thing to do?

Canada thinks there should be open communication about mental health issues in the workplace.

"Managers may be afraid of appearing nosy, while employees may fear they’ll lose their job if they say they’re dealing with a mental health issue. As a result, people who wouldn’t hesitate to talk about a heart condition or diabetes may avoid addressing stress or depression."

Or ADD. Every ADDer needs a regular break from their own life. A chance to rest and figure out what needs to be done and when. Also, it never hurts to spend a day on the couch watching Law & Order.

So imagine working in the kind of supportive environment this nice French-Canadian lady describes:

"Ideally, managers should approach an employee as soon as they notice a change in behaviour. "Part of prevention in the workplace is to talk to the employee before performance is affected,” says Ms. Ouimet. If an employee needs to take disability leave, colleagues should be encouraged to maintain their existing relationships with him or her, Ms. Ouimet says. Cards and visits may be appropriate and helpful."

That's right. She said cards and visits. How wonderful to think that someday we can all take a sick day, be honest about why, and maybe even score a bouquet of flowers for it.

If you enjoyed this post, subscribe to So I Married an ADDer.

You call that a system?

I don't normally go food shopping with Jen. She prefers to go on her own because I have a tendency to want everything in the store. But I joined her the other day to check out the local farm market she's been raving about.

First of all, making the switch from a giant supermarket chain to a small, local store has done wonders for her motivation. She actually looks forward to shopping now, which means we always have food in the house. (The bad news for me is we don't need to order pizza as often.) So if your ADDer is overwhelmed by the behemoth grocery stores, encourage them to try a local market. It's definitely less stressful.

After we finished loading the groceries into the car, Jen said to me, "I love the layout of this store because I can really follow a system. First I go to produce, then meat, then the deli, then dairy."

I looked at her in amazement and replied, "Are you kidding me? We did go to produce, then meat, then the deli, then dairy. But then we went back to meat, then back to produce, then back to meat again to get different meat, then back to the deli because we forgot something, then once more to produce because you decided you wanted grapes."

Jen laughed and said it was better than no system at all. I suppose she's right.

If you enjoyed this post, subscribe to So I Married an ADDer.

Top 5

One of my favorite blogging resources, ProBlogger, is having a group writing project where everyone posts a Top 5 list on their blog. Unfortunately, there's only one entry allowed per person, and I already entered luvmutt.com ("Top 5 Doggie Facial Expressions").

But in the spirit of the project, here are the Top 5 Things Jen Woke Me Up to Tell Me Last Night:

1. Did you set your alarm?
2. I just remembered I had another dream last night about Dr. Cox from Scrubs.
3. Is it too hot in here?
4. Remind me to ask my mother if we also went to Storybook Land in Atlantic City.
5. Don't forget to write a Top 5 post tomorrow!

Who's the Boss?

At my day job, my entire department consists of me and my boss. That's it, just the two of us. He comes up with the ideas, and I carry them out. It's a good arrangement. But I think he has ADD.

The man has no less than 9 day planners. There are piles of boxes and papers creating an obstacle course to his desk. Some of the piles are taller than me. But the kicker is that he comes up with new ideas like a well-oiled machine, and expects me to make them happen.

I have learned over time that I can ignore the vast majority of his ideas. When he comes over to my desk and says, "Erin, I think we should create a new brochure and do a mailing to East Asia," I tell him it's a great idea, and then pretend he never said it. 9 times out of 10 he's forgotten about it by lunchtime.

People Against Dirty

I've been wanting to write a blog post recommending Method home care products for a long time, but Jen beat me to it. And if Jen is recommending home care products, you know they must be something special.

In our house, I do the cleaning (not as often as I'd like, but I still do it). And I'm a lifelong fan of harsh cleaners, especially chlorine bleach. There's something about bleach that just makes me really happy. It makes everything so clean. When Clorox came out with the bleach pen a few years ago, I was in heaven.

The trouble is that Jen has ADD, and people with ADD tend to be sensitive to harsh cleaning products. (I've already written a post about the laundry detergent situation.) The smell of most cleaning products is too much for her to take, and it's not like she's out in left field with this one - most cleaners are, in fact, toxic. So what's Mrs. Clean to do?

Enter Method, a company whose tagline is "People Against Dirty" and whose household cleaning products are the most wonderful discovery I've made in ages. I first purchased their granite cleaner (dubbed "The Daily Granite") at Lowe's for the kitchen counter tops. It worked beautifully, without any toxic fumes. Method makes eco-friendly, biodegradable, pleasant-smelling cleaners for all kinds of surfaces - wood, tile, glass, dishes, laundry, all-purpose, and lots more. They also make hand soap and body wash. The packaging is stylish and (again) eco-friendly, and the scents are gorgeous - lavender, cucumber and grapefruit are just a few. And if that's not enough, they're totally affordable too.

Now I can clean all I want without disturbing Jen. If you're not a fan of toxic cleaning products, you should give Method a try. They sell them at Target and Lowe's, but you can get a great deal on them at Amazon by clicking the link in the box.