Let's Have a Meeting

Halfway through my second week working with Jen, I learned the hard way that she doesn't like meetings.

I can email her all the questions I want and she'll answer them almost instantly. But if I walk across the hall to propose a quick meeting, I get shot down.

When I was still at my corporate job and working on AMG part time, Jen and I had a long meeting once a week to go over everything. I would draw up an agenda, and we'd sit on the deck or go to Starbucks and painstakingly go through each item. After about two months of this, Jen finally said, "I don't want to have these meetings anymore. Just email me when something happens."

Apparently that's still the protocol even now that I'm across the hall. Any personal questions are eligible for shouting. "Did the dogs go out?!" is okay. Anything business-related is met with "I don't know, email me."

When she does agree to a meeting, I never have her full attention. While I'm talking, she's balancing the checkbook, catching up with Perez, or looking at kittens. I have to repeat myself three times.

But I've found a solution that works perfectly. Shower Meetings. Yes, Shower Meetings. When Jen is in the shower, she's a captive audience, and I've got her undivided attention. I stand outside the shower with my notebook and pen, and in 15 minutes I've got all my questions answered. It's brilliant.

I recommend Shower Meetings for all of you non-ADD spouses. It works just as well with personal conversations!

 

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Comments

[Attentive]

I've generally found talking to my ADD'er fiancée is akin to talking to a brick wall, esp. while she's on her PC. Even if you do get her attention, what you say is going straight in one ear and out the other.

One trick I've learnt; if I want to get her to remember something, I hand her a pen and a notepad (yes I hand it to her and she can never find 'em) and have her take notes. :)

Good idea with the shower-meeting! I'll have to employ that next time. :)

[Geneva]

What a great idea! I do most of my best thinking in the shower. My ADHD brain works well there.

Shower meetings here we come. Just don't expect me to invite the guys I actually work with - yeuch!

[Renee]

I'm an ADD-er, and I can verify that shower meetings would probably work with me, too.

I'm also horrible about meetings and would much rather receive an e-mail and be able to answer on my own time (which is often instantly, anyway), than have to discuss something in person or over the phone. I think it has to do with being able to think things through before I write instead of being on the spot in person when I might be distracted.

[Cheryl]

Just stumbled across this post - very interesting! When my husband is in the shower, he almost always calls me into the bathroom so he can ask me something. I never thought about it this way before, but I guess it's a good time - he isn't on his phone or the computer for a change. He is certainly much more chatty than usual. I need to learn to take advantage of it and carry a notepad!