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As 2007 comes to an end, I want to share with you my 10 favorite posts from the past year. I wish all of you a very Happy New Year!
10. When Your ADDer is Stressed
9. Itchy
8. O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, What are You Still Doing Here?
6. Complicated
4. The Assassin
1. For All the Berts Out There
Jen and I have been asked by a number of people how we split up the household chores. In what I call a "mixed marriage," where one spouse has ADD and the other does not, household chores can be a source of conflict.
A lot of couples follow a "chore chart," where each person takes a turn doing the dishes, taking out the garbage, cooking dinner, etc. But all the charts in the world aren't enough to convince an ADDer to do something they can't stand to do.
So Jen and I split the chores permanently instead of on a turn-taking basis. She always cooks, always does the yard work, and always builds and tends the fires (we use the fireplace every day from October-March). I always do the dishes, always vacuum the house, and always clean the bathrooms. That way, there is no doubt as to who's responsible for what.
There is another important thing to keep in mind when assigning chores. Pretend for a moment that Jen and I are cars. Jen has a 12 gallon fuel tank and I have an 18 gallon fuel tank. That means I can go about 30% farther than Jen without refueling. Nagging her to run on an empty tank is not going to help.
So that's how we manage the housework. It's a great system, but I'll be honest - I am looking forward to someday hiring a housekeeper.
Inspired by Sharon's post on the "food-mood connection," I've decided to share with you something very interesting that's been happening in my relationship with Jen.
We're not fighting nearly as much as we used to.
"But, Erin!" some of you are saying, "I thought you and Jen had the perfect relationship!" And to you I say, there is no such thing. Relationships take effort, period. But we are fighting a lot less than we ever have.
Do you know why?
Food.
No, I'm not kidding. We gradually started changing the way we eat a couple of months ago, and not only do we both feel better, but we're both in a better mood. Jen has blogged about our nutritional shift here and here, but basically what we're doing is eating local farm food. As in going to the farm and not the grocery store.
The way we're eating is in line with the Real Food Movement (also called Slow Food, Sustainable Agriculture, Beyond Organic, and a number of other things). I feel smug when I think of myself as being part of a movement, so I'm trying to steer clear of labels.
Coming from a woman who lived on Diet Coke and bagels her entire life, this is really something. I've always experienced mood swings, but for some reason this food has curbed them severely. My energy levels are more consistent, I'm more alert, and I'm less inclined to be a BMW (bitcher/moaner/whiner).
Jen, in turn, is sleeping better, waking up easier, concentrating better, and she's much less stressed out.
So naturally, we're getting along better since we both feel so much better.
It's not very beneficial for me to just tell you this, so I want to dispel some myths about eating fresh food and encourage you to give it a whirl:
Myth #1 It tastes like twigs. No, it doesn't. When was the last time you ate an apple that tasted like a twig? Or bacon and eggs? Eating healthfully doesn't mean eating tree bark.
Myth #2 There are no farms around here. Yeah, there probably are. Look here. If it's too far to make a weekly drive, go once a month and stock your freezer. We've been doing that with no problem.
Myth #3 I enjoy processed food too much to give it up. So don't give it up. Just do what I did - start incorporating fresh food into your routine and pretty soon you won't even want processed food anymore. And if you do, that's perfectly fine. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. We still have Triscuits in the pantry.
And while I'm at it, I'm going to recommend the book that got Jen and me started on this path. It's called Real Food: What to Eat and Why by Nina Planck. It's a quick read and it covers everything you need to know.
In a nutshell, changing the food we eat has resulted in a significant improvement in our relationship. Even if your relationship is perfect the way it is, you might want to consider giving real food a shot.
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