So I Married an ADDer

Hamster Wheel Brain

Like most people, I like to relax and unwind at the end of the day. Jen does, too. So we watch TV together before bed, and I sometimes work on my Jumbles. That's as far as my brain is willing to go. Jen's brain, on the other hand, continues to run full speed ahead.

The other night, in the middle of Law & Order, she turned to me and asked, "Have you ever thought about how the structure of our solar system is a lot like the structure of an atom? For all we know, the planets could be electrons and the sun could be a nucleus."

I didn’t bother to consider her question. Instead I replied, "Little hamster's still running up there, huh?"

She finds this hilarious. But seriously, I picture a little hamster running on a wheel inside her brain, constantly churning out random ideas.

This is why a lot of ADDers have trouble falling asleep at night, especially if they don't take time to relax before bed. They suffer from Hamster Wheel Brain (HWB), more commonly referred to as racing thoughts.

The best thing you can do, as the partner of someone with HWB, is to be a calming presence. Keep your energy low and encourage your partner to join you in relaxing activities. Eventually the little hamster will take a break from the wheel.

 

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Dinner's ready! Oh wait...

One of the most efficient systems that Jen and I have for managing our household is actually a very simple one: Jen cooks, and I clean. She's an amazing cook, and I like to take my anger out on soap scum, so everyone wins.

Dinner is the one actual meal we eat every day. Breakfast is kind of a free-for-all and lunch is...who am I kidding, we never have lunch. So dinner is that much more exciting, and it's something I really look forward to.

But I've learned over the years not to get my hopes up for eating at a certain time. Whatever time Jen says dinner is going to be ready, I always tack on an extra hour in my mind. Then when she says, "Honey, I'm sorry. I got distracted doing something for work. The chicken needs to stay in the oven a little longer," I say, "That's okay. I wasn't expecting to eat for another hour anyway."

 

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