So I Married an ADDer

Erin Get Your Gun

I recently learned something about myself that I'd suspected all along. I can shoot a rifle. And I can shoot it with better precision than a lot of people.

Those of you who know me may have a hard time picturing me with a gun. My personality doesn't exactly scream badass. My hobbies up until now have been singing and dancing. I enjoy doing the Jumble. I have a fondness for bunnies. You get the idea.

And yet I've long been drawn to arcade and carnival games that involve shooting. I loved those western-style shooting galleries where you hit the cowboy with a laser to make him play ragtime on the piano. And I was a master at Duck Hunt on Nintendo. So I thought, why not try it with a real gun?

I went to a women's introductory shooting workshop last weekend at a local gun club, and just as I suspected, I'm quite the target shooter. I overheard one of the gun club guys telling another guy that I was gifted. I came home with a bunch of paper targets with obliterated bullseyes.

I'm totally living the whole self-esteem through mastery thing. I haven't felt this proud of myself in a long, long time. I'm excited to get back on the range and work toward joining a competition league.

Meanwhile, Jen has found a new outlet for her skills, as well. She just started a summer-long women's group led by a nutritionist. Last night they cooked kale and made their own cheese. Wild horses couldn't drag me to that kind of thing.

The point in me telling you all this is that Jen and I are discovering that having separate hobbies and activities is really good for our relationship. Countless experts have stressed the importance of maintaining individuality after marriage, and a big component of that is having separate interests. If you spend all of your time together, you can "merge" or become too insular. Jen and I were definitely suffering the effects of that, but now that I have my things and she has hers, we're both much happier.

And I look hot with a rifle.

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.” ~ Albert Einstein

As the Operations Director and resident non-ADDer of AMG, I have to be organized. My role is to create (and keep up with) the systems that allow the company to run smoothly. I've always been a "details" kinda gal, and I have a longstanding love affair with spreadsheets, so this is the perfect gig for me.

But I'm no great pillar of organization. I have my challenges, which as you know include accounting. But I also struggle with managing my time.

At my first job out of college, everyone always stayed an hour or more past closing time; some to legitimately catch up on work, most to "look busy" while racking up "face time" at the office. But there was one girl (we'll call her Alyssa), who was out the door at closing time every single day. Everyone gossiped about Alyssa's habitual "leaving on time," but she was promoted early and often. Why? Because Alyssa got more done in 40 hours a week than everyone else did in 50 or 60.

Most of us are not like Alyssa. Especially for people with ADD, the infamous to-do list can seem so massive and overwhelming that nothing on it actually gets done. Thinking you have too much to do and no time to do it can be totally paralyzing. It leads to stress, burnout, and feelings of inadequacy.

So what can we do to be more like Alyssa? How can we learn to accomplish what we need to in a reasonable amount of time, so that we have more time to relax enjoy ourselves?

I've tried so many different techniques and systems for managing my time. Nothing so far has really stuck. I still find myself sitting down at my desk going, "Oh crap. What do I have to do today?" And yesterday, as I was sending an email to the members of Jen's new Time Management Masters Seminar, it dawned on me that I should really be taking the seminar.

So I am! Last night was the first live class, and I really got a lot out of it. In fact, I'm going to download the class recording off the website and burn it onto a CD for the car. There are notes and worksheets that I'm going to download, as well. I feel really confident that I can get a handle on my to-do list now. I'm actually excited.

It's not too late to join the Time Management Masters Seminar. The first live class was last night, but the recording is available for download, and there are still 3 more live classes. If you're interested, visit the web page at http://www.ADDmanagement.com/coaching/timemanagement.html. We can do it together!