So I Married an ADDer

Adults with ADD: Get Your Career in Gear

I'm stepping away from my usual format today to tell you about a really great event coming up in a few weeks. On June 17th, we'll be hosting the Get Your Career in Gear Webinar: How to Find and Keep the Perfect Job while Reducing Stress and Anxiety.

With the economy the way it is, a lot of people are worried about their careers. Many people are looking for work, and many more are stressed about keeping the jobs they have. Not only that, but a lot of people are struggling to succeed at work, trying to stand out and make an impression when the competition is stronger than ever.

Adults with AD/HD are no exception. In fact, as you well know, it's much harder to manage career stress when you're also managing AD/HD. Workplace issues are a serious matter--there's a lot at stake!--and that's why we decided to put together an event on AD/HD and career management.

Here's how it will work. On the afternoon of June 17th, which is a Wednesday, we're going to have 3 speakers: Wilma Fellman, a veteran career counselor, Paul Copcutt, a noted personal branding expert, and Ari Tuckman, a clinical psychologist specializing in AD/HD. Each of them will speak about a different facet of AD/HD and career management. (I'm actually very excited to hear what they have to say--they're all so different and they're each widely respected in their fields).

As a participant, your role is really easy. All you'll have to do is dial in by phone (or listen live on the web) and follow along with the slide presentations on a designated website. You won't have to download or install anything. (As the operations gal, I wanted to design it to be as user friendly as possible.)

And if you can't free up the afternoon to attend live, you'll be able to download the recordings and the speakers' slides to review on your own time. We're also offering follow-up worksheets and group coaching to everyone who registers for the Career Master option (see www.ADHDcareeringear.com for all the details). 

So whether you or your partner is looking for work or struggling to manage career stress and anxiety, this event is guaranteed to be helpful and informative. I hope you decide to join us! Registration is open at www.ADHDcareeringear.com. And if you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer them!

For Partners of People with AD/HD: Ch-ch-changes

I've been thinking a lot lately about change. I'm noticing change all around me, and I'm especially noticing the different ways in which people (and animals, as you'll see) deal with change.

First of all, it's finally, sort of, sometimes, on a good day, spring in New York. We've been waiting for what feels like an eternity for the weather to warm up and things to bloom. I certainly perk up in the warmer months, but Jen really thrives in nice weather, as do many people with ADD. She undergoes her own spring awakening every year around this time, and it's nice to see her back in the yard, excitedly doing whatever it is she does out there. For Jen, spring brings a welcome and much-needed change from the gloomy late-winter months. She is an example of someone who embraces change with open arms.

But there are other, less pleasant changes happening for others of us. Our 6-month-old puppy Trixie, whom many of you know is partially blind, is having trouble adjusting to some new light fixtures I put up over the weekend. Even though they're flush to the ceiling and eight feet over her head, she's afraid to walk under them. Not only that, but she's developed a fear of the garage since I cleaned it out on Saturday. Despite there being a lot less stuff in her way, she knows something is different and she's not happy about it. Trixie is an example of someone who needs a lot of time to adjust to change.

Quite the opposite of Trixie is the evil bird trying to take up residence in our dryer vent. Early on Friday morning, we heard chirping and rustling coming from inside the wall behind our laundry room. After much panicking on our part, animal control came and removed a bird, a starling to be exact, from the dryer hose, and he flew, unfazed, into a nearby tree. We initially thought, "Oh, the poor little guy. He must have been terrified to be stuck in that hose." (Although not as terrified as I was, with my lifelong, occasionally debilitating fear of birds.)

We assumed we'd seen the last of him. But undeterred, he came back the next day. This time we could tell he wasn't in the hose, just in the entrance of the vent, so at Jen's insistence and with great trepidation I turned the dryer on fluff (figuring that would be the least likely roasting setting), and watched as both he and his nest shot out of the vent as if fired from a cannon. He was, again, just fine. The makings of his nest, however, scattered all over the driveway (Trixie didn't like that either). We figured with no nest to return to, he wouldn't bother coming back, but just for good measure we had a handyman put some chicken wire inside the vent.

Well, what can I say? He was back with his girlfriend the very next day, showing her his etchings, even though he had no nest to speak of. I pounded on the wall and they flew away. But I fully expect them to appear again. This little bastard is an example of someone who refuses to accept change, even when it's in their best interest.

As for me, I cope with change by going with the flow as best I can. I tend to attract people (friends and family alike) who react very strongly to things. I'm often the calm in the center of the storm, and it's pretty much my job to not freak out. That doesn't mean I don't freak out--I write in my journal if I need to, or go for a drive--whatever I need to do to process my feelings. But I know that people (and dogs) depend on me to be calm and centered, so I make sure I come through for them.

The lesson to take away from all this is that when change comes (and it always comes) you need to be flexible and balanced enough to deal with your ADD partner's coping strategies, whatever they may be. Change is inevitable for us all, and you have to roll with the punches.

I'd like to punch that damn bird...

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