For Partners of People with AD/HD: Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

If you share your life and your home with an ADDer, you're all too familiar with the concept of "shifting attention". One minute, your partner is passionately involved in a new hobby; next week, that hobby has been abandoned for a better hobby. This happens because people with ADD get bored very easily. Something that captivates them now may grow tiresome or even intolerable over time.

Let me tell you about our garden.

Last summer, Jen wanted to plant a small vegetable garden in the backyard. She bought all the supplies at Home Depot, built a raised bed, filled it with soil, and planted tomatoes, eggplants, peppers, broccoli, and onions. She tended to it religiously throughout the summer, and we had some really nice vegetables! Jen really took a lot of pride in her garden.

Before

This year, Jen has no interest in gardening.

After

As you can see, the planting bed has lost one of its sides, and grass and weeds have grown in where the veggies once thrived. The lawn guys have even been weed-whacking it, which is a little embarrassing. The neighbors are probably thinking, "What the hell happened to their garden?"

But I'm totally used to this. Jen always has something new and exciting going on in her life. Me? I've had the same two hobbies for the better part of 30 years. It's rare that I try to take up something new (ask me about the scarf I've been knitting for six years). 

In contrast, Jen has a long history of getting really into something and then getting so bored of it that she never looks back.

A few years ago, she got interested in making beaded jewelry. She spent a fair amount of money on supplies—she even asked for beads for her birthday. She made some really impressive stuff, too! She had a genuine talent for it. I was wearing a different necklace to work every day! Then, suddenly, she put away the supplies, and they've been sitting in the closet ever since. There are at least a dozen unfinished necklaces in there, not to mention all the unused beads. 

So I'm not surprised that the vegetable garden has fallen by the wayside. It doesn't bother me. I actually like the fact that Jen will always be onto bigger and better things. You know why? Because it keeps things interesting. There is always something for us to talk about!

I just can't offer you any tomatoes this year.

Does your ADDer bounce from one interest to the next? Tell me about it in the comments below.

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Comments

[Firesheep67]

OMG! I do EXACTLY what Jen does...am undertaking a massive purge because we're moving T-O-M-O-R-R-O-W! and I too have scads of abandoned projects and hobbies (just ask me about art welding).

I do wish I didn't spend so much money on things I end up dropping... :(

[Tom]

My wife (another Jen BTW) does the same thing. What's funny is when I try to get rid of the old hobby stuff, she won't let it go. "We may need that some day!" she'll exclaim.

[Leslie]

This entry is hilarious--the 'before and after' photos of the garden made me laugh out loud! Thanks so much. Plus, it's nice to hear that other folks w/ ADD do sometimes find wonderful partners who understand us and love us the way we are! :) All the best to you!

[Shelly Bee]

This site is hilarious...I don't think I've laughed so much in months! Keep up the good work.

[LMG]

Those 'before' and 'after' garden photos just killed it. I literally just guffawed out a hearty Santa laugh, they were so funny.