For Partners of People with ADD: All in the Family

It's been suggested that ADD is largely hereditary. Many people come to us for coaching or sign up for the Virtual AD/HD Conference after their son or daughter is diagnosed, sparking the discovery that their own challenges have been ADD all along.

I wrote a post about four years ago after Jen's Uncle Kenny had us on our back porch in the middle of the night, in the freezing cold, trying to identify stars with an overpriced electronic "star finder" that had no batteries and was set to the wrong date.

Uncle Kenny certainly has some undiagnosed ADD, but the real culprit in Jen's family is her mother, Rita.

Rita is classic ADD. The way she organizes her home makes sense only to her. The linen closet between the bedrooms is a food pantry. Family photos are kept only in department store shirt boxes, with the last four decades sharing equal representation in each box. She is physically unable to remain seated during Thanksgiving dinner because she forgets to put out the butter, the salt, the gravy, and did you want more turkey? You get the point.

I went shopping with my dear mother-in-law earlier this week, and she drove. I had never been in her car before. When we came out of the mall, I glanced at her dashboard clock and was surprised to see that it was only 4:04.

Me: Wow, I can't believe it's only 4:04! It felt like we were there a lot longer.

Rita: It's not 4:04, it's 5:04.

Me: But the clock says 4:04. Here, let me change it for you...

Rita: No!!! Don't touch it!

Me: Why not? Daylight Savings started back in March. It's August!

Rita: But it ends in November, and then the clock will be wrong again!

Me: So your clock only shows the correct time four months out of the year?

Rita: Yes, I like it that way! By the time I get around to changing it, it's always time to change it back. So I just leave it.

It baffles me that anyone could live with, let alone prefer, a clock displaying the wrong time. Harken back to my blog post from two years ago about the clock in Jen's office (which by the way is still there, and still wrong).

I guess the ADD apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

Is ADD present in your partner’s family, too? Tell me about it in the comments!

 

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Comments

[Carmen]

...And that is why I love my laptop and clock...they automatically change when daylight savings time starts and ends :) -- Changing my clock and my 3 watches are enough for me ;)

I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2007 and since I've been diagnosed I seem to notice some traits of ADD in my family which makes me think that they may have ADHD too.

Take my dad for example...he'll say "I'll pick you up at NOON" ...it really means he'll be there at 12:15-ish...

My sisters both seem like they are easily distracted

[Karen]

Bwahahahahahaha! I want to meet this Rita! Erin you are a real troooper. I love that you can laugh with us but not about us. And you understand not judge. I have to admit to you that my photos are organized about as well as Rita's are and I don't even know how to change the clock in my car! I'm going to print out your blog so my husband will read it and see that I'm not the only one. Thanks Erin, for your good humor and understanding!

[Jolie]

I have exactly the same with the clock in my bedroom... Because when it's winter and I wake up I still have an hour to get up... Must sound weird to all of you but to me its completely logical...

[Katy R.]

I have ADHD, and I do the same thing with my clock. I know what time it is anyway, and I have too many other things that are more important to keep track of. I pick my battles...! See, who says people with ADHD can't prioritize. I'd rather put energy into remembering to put my credit cards back into my wallet. PS: Rita, I love you.